What a Day!!

Forum for parents of injured who are seeking information from other parents or people living with the injury. All welcome
Kimberly
Posts: 119
Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2001 1:11 pm

What a Day!!

Post by Kimberly »

Well, Awareness Week is here and we started the day off at church and our Sunday School class prayed a special prayer for our Awareness Week and for our children. I have been on an emotional roller coaster all day long!! I just hate it! We had a neighborhood ice cream social this afternoon and gave all the neighbors info on BPI and they just can't believe that this is something that the DOCTOR DID to Brittany. I showed pictures of the surgeries that Brittany has had and the ones we are facing. They were just in shock! These are neighbors that are around Brittany all of the time and have never really looked at her as if anything was wrong. They just can't believe her and so many other children have to face this. Then we just received our Camp photos yesterday but didn't open the box until today ( I didn't know what it was. Thought I had ordered something that I had forgotten about!!) Boy, that just started another roller coaster. I usually am pretty strong, but today I have not been. Brittany has been hugging me all day long. Then, to top it off, at the ice cream social, the kids were jumping on the trampoline, and one of Brittany's friends had a brother here with her, and at one point told Brittany "I am going to break your other arm!". I did not hear this, but other adults did, and I just wanted to ring that boys neck. One of my neighbors (military family) was ready to pull him off and make him do push ups until he could not feel his arms. Oh, Friday night David had Brittany at a high school football game and the mascots are rams. Brittany had walked down to hug the rams like she has done every game for the last four years, and as she was walking back up the bleachers to our seats, two cheerleaders were holding their arms (elbow up in the air) laughing and pointing at her. They are so lucky I wasn't at the game, but David and friends were. I am going to visit with the cheerleader coach and director on Tuesday. That is just so wrong. In six years I have never had anyone making fun of Brittany, and here it has happened twice in two days. It is very hard. I am ready to go to sleep and hope tomorrow is a better day. All of the BPI children and adults and their families are in my prayers tonight!! Kimberly
Francine_Litz
Posts: 2199
Joined: Sat Mar 22, 2003 9:03 pm

Re: What a Day!!

Post by Francine_Litz »

Kimberly - I'm just shocked to hear about this. I don't even know what to say to you. Just know that I am upset for you and Brittney - it's just not right!
big hugs,
francine
admin
Site Admin
Posts: 19873
Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 9:59 pm

Re: What a Day!!

Post by admin »

oh please let us know how that meeting went with the cheerleading coach. THAT IS WRONG!! How incredibly rude.. I have to stop. I get a little carried away. There are kids who have poked fun at my 2 year old son. Because of the way his arm is held... they think he is "retarded" and I've heard a 5/6 year old at day care call him the retard boy. I freaked out.
Do you have an address. I'll write the school a letter!!!!
Kimberly
Posts: 119
Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2001 1:11 pm

Re: What a Day!!

Post by Kimberly »

I talked with one of the asst. coaches that came by my house today, and this issue will be dealt with. The thing that bothers me the most is that this was not 5 or 6 year olds, they were 17!!! And they have been educated on BPI last year during Awareness Week!! And we all cried!! I have a 17 year old that has been a part of the cheer/dance organization for the four years she has been at this high school!!! She watched the cheerleaders making fun of her down on the field. Yes, I want to shake the you know what out of them!!!Kimberly
Lenni
Posts: 478
Joined: Sun Feb 17, 2002 12:55 am

Re: What a Day!!

Post by Lenni »

Awwwww Kimberly and Brittany I am so horrified to hear this news.......children and teens can be so very cruel at times.....I really do not think they understand life as we do! One day when they have their own children they will understand their meanness and regret this behavior......or they'll be in jail ! hehehehe

I have only one thing to ask you to consider and I am only playing the devils advocate here ........!! Was there anything at all that Brittany could have done to provoke this from these kids? I am not saying for a moment that she did but simply wondering is all.

All the Best to you and please continue to be the wonderful Mother that you are!


Lenni
lizzyb
Posts: 809
Joined: Sun Nov 04, 2001 6:36 am

Re: What a Day!!

Post by lizzyb »

Hi Kimberley..it's such a shame that this happened..twice in two days too..! I can fully understand your reaction and wanting to strangle these kids, but how did Brittany take it? Is this something that she can take in her stride?

She comes across on these boards as a well rounded, really positive person even though she is so young, and looks like she is coping so well out there.

You are obviously great parents to be able to give her so much confidence in herself...I would HATE to think that it had been knocked by the actions of these moronic teens...I am personally really hoping that if she noticed, she would have just shrugged it off, smiled, went serenly on her way and not given it a second thought. Big hugs to you all...

Liz B xx

Kimberly
Posts: 119
Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2001 1:11 pm

Re: What a Day!!

Post by Kimberly »

Brittany didn't notice what the girls were doing since she was talking to and hugging the mascots, the rams. As far as "did Brittany do anything to provoke this", No, they had just watched her playing with the mascots. Brittany is very strong, but if she would have seen this, it would have broke her heart in a million pieces. She just loves the cheerleaders and wants to be down there one day cheering just like them.
Kimberly
4Jake
Posts: 76
Joined: Sun Nov 03, 2002 1:41 pm

Re: What a Day!!

Post by 4Jake »

Well first off let me thank Kimberly for having us over on Sunday. It was very nice to meet you and your family. Brittany is a beautiful little girl and she is right out there doing everything that the other kids do. Crystal commented on what a wonderful job that you have done self image wise with Brittany. I agreed and said it was something that we should talk to you about. A lot of these posts are future issues/concerns that I may see in the future and it is interesting and informative to see how they are handled.

I am not sure how exactly to type what I want to say and hope that it does not get misconstrued. There are always going to be mean and ignorant kids out there. Boys and girls alike that do not have the ability to put themselves in anothers shoes. Unfortunately I was one of those kids/young man growing up. Now when I read and hear these stories it worries me for Jake and it makes me feel horrible for any insensitive thing that I did growing up. It has gone as far as me blaming my actions as a child and god paying me back with jake's conditition. While I know this isn't the case and that Jake is the greatest blessing in my life, these people that make the comments and insensitive gestures have there own self worth issues and will be paid back 10 fold.

Just know that we do the best we can do for our children and Kimberly you have done an amazing job with Brittany.

I am not sure how I would react to what happen in either instance.
CW1992
Posts: 860
Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2001 12:41 pm

Re: What a Day!!

Post by CW1992 »

I am sorry Kimberly that you went through all of this with Brittany. I think one of the hardest things as a parent is watching the reactions from others and struggling with the need to protect your child from hurt. The good thing in your case is that Brittany was not aware of anything. I think it would help Brittany to understand that there will be people who do not understand - because there is no way that they could understand really. Could it be possible that the older kids were not making fun in a mean way?? Maybe they just thought your little girl was acting cute/silly with her arm but had no idea that she was serious. Maybe they didn't realize that she was the little girl they had learned about the year before.
I hope I don't come across wrong - I sure don't mean to. I just feel that kids with injuries need to be even more empathetic than other kids and they'll learn this best from their parents. They have to realize and understand that the other kids are trying to make sense out of something that doesn't make sense to them. Adults do it too. If I were to see a child in a big splint - and I had never heard of a BPI or surgery for it before - I'd assume that the sweet little kid must have really hurt himself bad somehow.... Kids see your daughter and wonder why she holds her arm the way she does and probably assume that she is meaning to do this on purpose maybe. When my Brittney was younger we often talked about - 'what would you think if you saw a person who had an arm injury only you had never heard of one before..... - and I think it better helped her understand from their eyes - that she is a normal kid, she looks and acts normal, but she uses her arm so differently. She would not know what to think really - it would confuse her just as she probably confuses others - and so she needs to remember this if people don't understand - that it's just because they just don't know - and that is not their fault. She also should not let someone else or some stranger make her feel embarrassed because they are the ones who are embarrassing themselves because they don't know any better. I think we need to try to understand others just like we want them to try and understand us.
As for the little boy threatening to hurt her other arm - some kids are evil - might be a good time to teach her some fighting techniques using her knee....

I hope things are going better. Things will get easier as Brittany gets older,
Christy
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