Needed to vent on a few things

Forum for parents of injured who are seeking information from other parents or people living with the injury. All welcome
carron

Needed to vent on a few things

Post by carron »

First Thanks to all of you who have been thinking of us in our time of need.

Well, Thomas is doing better in some ways. the botox has worn off so his bicep is pulling his arm back up even though we are splinting it at night. I feel guilty because I have taken a break from therapy, with my mother sick I still go once a week and EI comes twice a month. But he still does not get his OT from Birmingham which is a 2 hour drive one way for me. I am so burned out from all this......

Mother is still fighting and not wanting hospice to come in I wish she would they could help her so much but to her it is the end if they come. But the end is coming soon she can not even walk without holding onto the walls. Breast Cancer has spread to her lungs, bones and brain. She has Fought this for 7 years and it spread 2 years ago . I feel so guilty for not going as often as I should its getting to me I can't stand watching this happen to my mother. I am the one who is suppose to help her and I can't face it. How do you face it she is all I have left my father passed when I was 15. I have my husband and kids but this feels so different to me.... Sorry just wanted to share my thoughts.
Going Crazy
Carron
njbirk
Posts: 1806
Joined: Wed Oct 24, 2001 10:09 pm

Re: Needed to vent on a few things

Post by njbirk »

Carron,

You are very much in my thoughts.
It is a very difficult time for you to be caught in the middle of the generations. Just do your best and know that your mother appreciates it even when she can't express it through her pain. Remember the good days.

And realize it is ok for you to break down now and then and just have a good cry.

We are here for you.

Nancy
Kath
Posts: 3242
Joined: Mon Nov 18, 2002 4:11 pm
Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: I am ROBPI, global injury, Horner's Syndrome. No surgery but PT started at 2 weeks old under the direction of New York Hospital. I wore a brace 24/7 for the first 11 months of my life. I've never let my injury be used as an excuse not to do something. I've approach all things, in life, as a challenge. I approach anything new wondering if I can do it. I tried so many things I might never have tried, if I were not obpi. Being OBPI has made me strong, creative, more determined and persistent. I believe that being obpi has given me a very strong sense of humor and compassion for others.
Location: New York

Re: Needed to vent on a few things

Post by Kath »

Carron

It is so hard for you I will keep you in my prayers.

Just a word about Hospic my friends husband just spent one year with Hospic helping the family. He only had two months according to the doctors and he was made so comfortable and his time was really quality... and he lived so much longer because of their care. I cannot say enough good things about my experience with hospic helping our family when my in-laws were so sick... I will pray that your Mom allows them to come in and help all of you to spend quality time together.

I have been thinking about you and am glad you posted. It's hard to take care of two generation so give your self some time to take a deep breath. Thomas will be fine even with a break from PT/OT because he has you.

Kath
Kath robpi/adult

Kathleen Mallozzi
Kathleen M

Re: Needed to vent on a few things

Post by Kathleen M »

Carron

It is so hard for you I will keep you in my prayers.

Just a word about Hospic my friends husband just spent one year with Hospic helping the family. He only had two months according to the doctors and he was made so comfortable and his time was really quality... and he lived so much longer because of their care. I cannot say enough good things about my experience with hospic helping our family when my in-laws were so sick... I will pray that your Mom allows them to come in and help all of you to spend quality time together.

I have been thinking about you and am glad you posted. It's hard to take care of two generation so give your self some time to take a deep breath. Thomas will be fine even with a break from PT/OT because he has you.

Kath
phaliscak
Posts: 313
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2002 2:56 pm

Re: Needed to vent on a few things

Post by phaliscak »

Dear Carron,

You and your mom have been in my thoughts and prayers every day. Although I know it's hard, I am glad you posted. I hope I can help somehow. I do have some ideas. A lot of us who take care of terminally ill children and parents seek the advice of the counselors at the cancer clinic. They are there helping parents and adult children face the passing of their loved ones every day. There is also no shame in getting some kind of medication to help ease your nerves while you are going through this. You may even want to check out a cancer board for breast cancer. I am positive that there will be someone going through exactly what you are and maybe they can take your hand and help you and your mom get through it. In the mean time focus on quality of life. Look at it as a passing into the next stage of life, not an ending to life and it should bring some comfort when it gets really hard. I will pray for peace for both you and your mom. God bless.

Patty
Josh'smom
Posts: 130
Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2003 9:25 pm

Re: Needed to vent on a few things

Post by Josh'smom »

Carron so sorry to hear all that is going on with you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. My father died of cancer as well, but he went fast. We did have hospice and the nurses kept him comfortable and made sure he didnt feel much pain in the end. I know its hard, will be thinking of you and your family and praying for you all.
Joy in FL
Posts: 357
Joined: Sun Nov 04, 2001 8:36 pm
Location: Georgia

Re: Needed to vent on a few things

Post by Joy in FL »

Carron,

First off, you are in my prayers for the strength and guidance you need.

Secondly, I may be wrong but you can still contact Hospic. I believe they will give you support and guidance as well. Perhaps just set up a meeting with the Hospic caregiver and explain your Mothers concerns. They may have ideas on how to calm her fears. Another option and this is the most difficult one... ignore your mothers wishes and have Hospice come in anyway. Now I know that sounds harsh but I really think that once they get there and she was able to see what kind of care she would get it would ease her mind.

As Kathleen said, they are amazing people.

Take Care,
Joy
Joy in FL is now living in Georgia!
Left TBI on October 31, 1991
PeggyF
Posts: 671
Joined: Sat Nov 10, 2001 10:14 am

Re: Needed to vent on a few things

Post by PeggyF »

Carron,

There aren't words enough to express how much I feel for you and your family. You will all remain in my thoughts and prayers. I know this is a very difficult time.
I wish I were better at expressing myself, but please know that you have our support.
Feel free to vent anytime.

Peggy
marymom
Posts: 692
Joined: Mon Nov 05, 2001 5:05 pm
Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: Teen aged home birthed son with OBPI
Location: Fort Pierce, FL

Re: Needed to vent on a few things

Post by marymom »

Carron, It seems you are the designated midwife for your mothers "birth" from this life, may you feel empowered and honored with this role, and may you be blessed with strength and love to nurture yourself through this time.
Locked