Daughter now Knows she has BP......

Forum for parents of injured who are seeking information from other parents or people living with the injury. All welcome
angelsmom1
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Joined: Thu Apr 17, 2008 11:36 am
Location: Florida
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Daughter now Knows she has BP......

Post by angelsmom1 »

Our 6 1/2 year old girl has been upset off and on about her arm not working right, but the other night a the dance recital after there first number, she was in the back room crying, big fat tears rolling down her blue eyes.... tore me up, she was upset becuse she was hopeing the Doc. (we when up to see him beging of May) would fix her arm and he said she was good to come back next year. Angelina was sitting there saying "look mom it's not good , I can't do the dances and strech and everyone see her scars & will make fun of me, am a loser." Poor Poor baby, as no one would dare say any thing. Of course I got her clamed down and everything, but thats the frist time she has ever really been bothered about it.
I didn't show her I too was upset not being able to do anything for her arm, but darn i sure am.
All in all she won a trophy (everyone got one)and dad brought her roses. She is ok again for now.
DOses this happen often? what have the rest of you done to help raise your child's sad thoughts?
Thanks for any ideas :0)
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brandonsmom
Posts: 1401
Joined: Mon Nov 22, 2004 4:43 pm

Re: Daughter now Knows she has BP......

Post by brandonsmom »

I think boys are different from girls, but Brandon is 10 1/2 and I think that he has only melted down once or twice. But girls are mean, Brandon's friend think that his scars are COOL and one even asked him where how he could get scars like Brandon's, he just replied, it's too late you have already been born....lol. I hope you get some answers from mom's with girls. Brandon is playing ball now and his team is so respectful of him, after the one boy made a comment they all jumped in and defended Brandon. It does get easier, it really does, you need to stay strong and tell your daughter that she is perfect just the way she is and her scars make her unique.....Good Luck, Gayle Mom of Brandon ROPBI
AngieD
Posts: 104
Joined: Sat Jun 26, 2004 12:28 pm

Re: Daughter now Knows she has BP......

Post by AngieD »

I will never forget the first time Kayla told me she hated her arm and why could it not be like her other one. We talked about how everyone is different and nobody is perfect. Kayla has very little if any use of her BPI arm and she is now 13 yrs old. Unfortunally, she hides her scars when she is around a group of kids so she doesn't have to explain it all the time.

Last year in 6th grade was the first time that she actually had another girl make fun of her to her face. The problem this other girl had was when she said it all of Kayla's friends where right there so needless to say they jumped to her defense. Afterwards they went to the counselor as well. I ended getting involoved because then it went to Kayla needed to change lunch tables because the other girl decided she wanted to sit at the table Kayla was at (even though she never sat there before, it was just another way to bully her) and they where not suppose to be by each other. Needless, to say I went straight up there and asked since when do we let bullies run the show and they changed very quickly as I pointed out in the school policy that the other girl should have been expelled according to the school rules. They have a zero tolerance for bulling and she was basically bulling Kayla.

I wish I could say that it gets easier but there are days that Kayla wants to do something and she trys but she just can't because of her arm. For the most part she has learned to expect who she is and knows that we all love her and most importantly she knows who her true friends are and she can count on them.

It can be so hard watching are kids grow up, knowing that girls can be so mean. Just show her how much you love her and enjoy her being a little girl. Teenage years are around the corner and boy are they fun (kidding), my oldest daughter is 15 and then Kayla who is 13.

Angie
Judy-T
Posts: 557
Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2001 11:59 am
Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: Right arm OBPI One surgery at age 40 Ulnar nerve retransposition
Location: Florida

Re: Daughter now Knows she has BP......

Post by Judy-T »

Gayle ,I love Brandon's reply. He is going to warped like the rest of us LOL
Judy ROBPI 48
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brandonsmom
Posts: 1401
Joined: Mon Nov 22, 2004 4:43 pm

Re: Daughter now Knows she has BP......

Post by brandonsmom »

Judy T. Warped certainly, but at least honest.......GAYLE
Kath
Posts: 3242
Joined: Mon Nov 18, 2002 4:11 pm
Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: I am ROBPI, global injury, Horner's Syndrome. No surgery but PT started at 2 weeks old under the direction of New York Hospital. I wore a brace 24/7 for the first 11 months of my life. I've never let my injury be used as an excuse not to do something. I've approach all things, in life, as a challenge. I approach anything new wondering if I can do it. I tried so many things I might never have tried, if I were not obpi. Being OBPI has made me strong, creative, more determined and persistent. I believe that being obpi has given me a very strong sense of humor and compassion for others.
Location: New York

Re: Daughter now Knows she has BP......

Post by Kath »

I have to agree it's harder because girls can be so mean and nasty. I think girls just don't have the words when they are young and trying to fit in...
Give her time and she will have a good answer. It's just sad that we have to develop smart mouths and cover up with humor when nasty people come at us.

I guess smart mouth and quick wit is one of the secondary issues to bpi....

I love my warped sense of humor and the fact that I don't let people's opinion of me matter anymore.

Kath robpi/adult
Kath robpi/adult

Kathleen Mallozzi
tkirkland
Posts: 55
Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2009 9:46 am
Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: My daughter suffered a ROBPI at birth on 10/7/2000. She has had no surgeries as of yet but we are currently seeking surgical intervention. She is a continous source of strength and encouragement for as she absolutely amazing!!!
Location: Rockland County, New York

Re: Daughter now Knows she has BP......

Post by tkirkland »

I am so glad that you posted your concerns because I am having the exact same issues with my daughter, Amaya. She is 8 years old and a perfect princess in my eyes but her ROBPI can be quite discouraging at times. I have been finding her struggling more and more recently. Don't get me wrong, she has been tough from day one. She tries not to let it slow her down at all but the reality is that is does and she is beginning to really take notice. She get's sad when she has been trying to do a cartwheel for over a year now and her friends all do them with ease.

I just explain to her that we are all different and I try to make her thankful for what she does have by explaing to her that other children (people) have it way worse. Some people are missing limbs, in wheelchairs, dieing of cancer and so on. I tell her that she is the most beautiful thing in this world to me. I tell her to focus on her strengths and to be thankful that she has her right mind. I stay prayerful and I smother her with all of the love that I can and hope it helps.
Mare
Posts: 708
Joined: Mon Mar 10, 2003 5:30 pm

Re: Daughter now Knows she has BP......

Post by Mare »

Frankies last melt down was at 15yrs old when he wanted to go work as a mechanics asst and I said I didn't know if he would be able to do the job with just one hand Frankie has no use of his left just uses the forearm to support stuff. Well I have never seen him cry so hard and he later told me it wasn't that he couldn't do the job that bothered him but that I said he couldn't and in 15 yrs I had never told him he could not do or be something because of lefty. Well 1 yr later and he's still doing the job and wants to be a firefighter like his mom when he grows up. As far as the scars go he just says he was attacked by a shark surfing in Hawaii. The only advice I can give you is be there and listen and never say they can't. As far as the bullies go to the school and the parents if need be but mostly I just explained to Frankie that kids that are mean to others really don't like themselves and we need to feel sorry for them because they are the disabled ones. I hope this helps its heart breaking to see your child hurting and not be able to fix it. Mare
claudia
Posts: 1241
Joined: Tue Nov 06, 2001 12:21 pm

Re: Daughter now Knows she has BP......

Post by claudia »

I try to remind Juliana that we all have things that we can or can't do, regardless of injury. I've told many people about my crazy inability to ski. I can and have played almost every sport, but skiing for me is just sliding down a frozen mountain on my rear end...

That being said, I let Juliana see the post. She says that we should just tell kids to think of themselves as regular kids. She doesn't like telling kids that they are not as worse off as other kids because "what is hard for me is still hard for me." In other words, your bad is your bad. I think it diminishes the way kids feel about their injury if we tell them it could be worse. To them, it is worse! I don't mean we get all gooey and all, but just tell it like it is. If you don't like doing this, than do that. I never tell Juliana she can't do something. I have steered her in certain directions, but she does gymnastics... ONE HANDED/ ONE ARMED. As for working really hard to learn a 1 handed cartwheel, she did it! And it took at least a year.

Oh, and a sense of humor always helps!! She has a fantastic sense of humor.

good luck,
claudia
tkirkland
Posts: 55
Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2009 9:46 am
Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: My daughter suffered a ROBPI at birth on 10/7/2000. She has had no surgeries as of yet but we are currently seeking surgical intervention. She is a continous source of strength and encouragement for as she absolutely amazing!!!
Location: Rockland County, New York

Re: Daughter now Knows she has BP......

Post by tkirkland »

That is awesome and daughter sounds like an awesome kid!
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