Single life and thoughts on dating

Treatments, Rehabilitation, and Recovery
Master DIVER TOM
Posts:759
Joined:Tue May 05, 2009 11:51 am
Re: Single life and thoughts on dating

Post by Master DIVER TOM » Wed Aug 22, 2012 7:37 pm

I thought I would add this to my last post :roll:
I know like others who were born with these injury have been threw so many struggles and have overcome a lot in there own way and it absolute comes overtime and a life time :shock:

Then there is the true other side of people getting Forms of these injuries in latter in life and are at square one and trying there best to move forwards ;)

Self esteem and moving forwards to me by doing things you can do one handed things on a Date , pick things on a menus you can eat one handed like I gave examples. Same for things I said before on my post :roll: You will fell better by staying in the things you can do with your limitation,what ever that is to start. I started this way all the way back on my first date to today going out with my wife. I truly know you will fell better by doing this so you dont fell your in another situation you cant do. :roll:

In time you will surprise your self by what you can find away to adapt to and that to can be added to what you can do in-spite of your limitation and that really can impress a date to :D

I really hope you think about this and you can improve your self esteem. It really does work by so many post.
I know Mr positive, :shock: You guys are doing great ;) There are things by post, I tried to do but never could learn to adapt to :roll: But we all have things that do work over time ;) :D
Tom

djk
Posts:82
Joined:Mon Nov 01, 2010 9:35 am
Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc:extensive right side brachial plexus injury as a result of a motorcycle accident on 8/25/10.

Re: Single life and thoughts on dating

Post by djk » Wed Sep 05, 2012 4:15 am

hi,
i kinda wonder if having my arm amputated would help with the sex since i would not have to in any way deal with it. it would not be in the way so to speak or something that needs attention while i'm trying to focus on something else.

Master DIVER TOM
Posts:759
Joined:Tue May 05, 2009 11:51 am

Re: Single life and thoughts on dating

Post by Master DIVER TOM » Thu Sep 06, 2012 1:13 pm

This is a great question and it BuGS you ;)
I and other can help on the Private Board, I am on the Private Board as are others who deal with your really good question, Yap , Save a ARM, I will never give up to move a person forward past a Amputation issue. This suggest just needs to be move to a private board.
Tom

bill de brooklyn
Posts:86
Joined:Tue Feb 02, 2010 10:49 pm
Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc:BP injury July 20, 1968 the result of an auto accident(c5). No surgery.

Re: Single life and thoughts on dating

Post by bill de brooklyn » Fri Sep 07, 2012 12:50 am

I was injured when I was twenty years old. I was able to date women. I went to clubs and danced with women. yes I would be somewhat self conscience because my left arm could not keep up. But I still had fun and enjoyed the club scene. The women I dated enjoyed my company. Sex was never a problem. There are many positions that do not require two arms for support and allow touching. If you are attracted to someone "Go for it". What I discovered is that most people will judge your personality not your disability.

Bill

Master DIVER TOM
Posts:759
Joined:Tue May 05, 2009 11:51 am

Re: Single life and thoughts on dating

Post by Master DIVER TOM » Fri Sep 07, 2012 7:24 am

I agree with Bill,
1000 percent!!!!
Talk about a Mirror image, ;) :D
What Bill stated in his post was a TOTAL match to what I did to, Just Amazing ;) To me !! :D I really enjoyed dancing a lot. It does take time to get past square 1 with these injuries but at least by posting we can try to inspire to do just that ;)
Tom

Dan
Posts:170
Joined:Wed Jun 28, 2006 9:08 pm
Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc:Injured 5/11/86, had just turned 18 yrs old
Evulsed C5-T1
Intercostal into Bicep 10/86
Location:Los Angeles
Contact:

Re: Single life and thoughts on dating

Post by Dan » Fri Sep 07, 2012 6:09 pm

djk wrote:hi,
i kinda wonder if having my arm amputated would help with the sex since i would not have to in any way deal with it. it would not be in the way so to speak or something that needs attention while i'm trying to focus on something else.
Hi,

I have no use of my arm, 26 years now, this has never been a problem for me. I was with my first wife 9 years and my current wife about 9 years now, we have two children. The arm has not or ever has been an issue in this area of my life. There are other reasons to amputate your arm that could improve your quality of life than this issue, but it could be another thing you add to the list of reasons why to move you in that direction.

Dan

Dan
Posts:170
Joined:Wed Jun 28, 2006 9:08 pm
Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc:Injured 5/11/86, had just turned 18 yrs old
Evulsed C5-T1
Intercostal into Bicep 10/86
Location:Los Angeles
Contact:

Re: Single life and thoughts on dating

Post by Dan » Fri Sep 07, 2012 6:53 pm

I haven't posted a reply to this because there was so much to comment on and it really is so much more than just dating. This thread goes to one of the core things I believe and talk to people about when I do my public speaking on "Overcoming Life's Challenges", not just bpi'ers.

Your circumstances don't define who you are!

For this topic, your PHYSICAL circumstances don't define who you are!

I know that is easier said than done, but that is the truth.

Whether you are dating or just interacting with people, if you make your life about your arm, then your life will be about your arm! Do you know anybody who wants life to be about just your arm? From 26 years of experience, I don't define myself by my arm, since I don't do that, others don't either.

I can try to keep expanding on this point and tie it into finding a person to be in a relationship with, going out to a restaurant, interviewing for a job, etc.... but I hope the concept of what I am saying can sink in and if you want more clarification on this, just ask and we can keep the dialog going.

Dan

Carolyn J
Posts:3424
Joined:Tue Apr 06, 2004 1:22 pm
Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc:LOBPI. I am 77 yrs old and never had a name for my injuries until 2004 when I found UBPN at age 66.

My injuries are: LOBPI on upper body and Cerebrael Palsy on the lower left extremities. The only intervention I've had is a tendon transplant from my left leg to my left foot to enable flexing t age 24 in 1962. Before that, my foot would freeze without notice on the side when wearing heels AND I always did wear them at work "to fit in" I also stuttered until around age 18-19...just outgrew it...no therapy for it. Also suffered from very very low self esteem; severe Depression and Anxiety attacks started at menopause. I stuffed emotions and over-compensated in every thing I did to "fit in" and be "invisible". My injuries were Never addressed or talked about until age 66. I am a late bloomer!!!!!

I welcome any and all questions about "My Journey".
There is NO SUCH THING AS A DUMB QUESTION.
Sharing helps to Heal. HUGS do too.
Location:Tacoma WA
Contact:

Re: Single life and thoughts on dating

Post by Carolyn J » Sat Sep 08, 2012 3:08 pm

Thanks, Dan. Please keep on posting. I learn sooo much from you.
Carolyn J
LOBPI/74..Never TOO Old to Learn something new! 8-)

Oscar280
Posts:6
Joined:Mon Dec 10, 2012 5:16 pm
Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc:Crashed a snowmobile on December 26th, 1996. Lost use of complete right arm.

Re: Single life and thoughts on dating

Post by Oscar280 » Mon Dec 10, 2012 5:57 pm

Hey Rico,

It's been 16 years for me. I lost my arm when I was 23 and single. I've dated tons of beautiful girls and even married one! In my experience, most girls don't care. If they do, I haven't met many. Smile, be yourself and go say Hi! You'll do just fine.... :)

Oscar

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